ow to say no when someone asks to borrow money l Moneymax

"May extra money ka ba diyan? Pautang naman."

Sick and tired of getting a request to loan coin for the nth time? Wondering how to say no when someone asks to borrow coin?

What makes this state of affairs catchy is that information technology's hard to say no to someone beloved to you, despite your all-time efforts not to care near what people think of you. Merely at the same time, y'all don't desire to compromise your own finances.

Utang is part of the Filipino culture, so much that the percentage of adults with outstanding loans increased to 33% in 2019 from 22% in 2017, based on the 2019 Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas Fiscal Inclusion Survey. Of those with loans, 44% borrowed from informal sources, specially family and friends.[one]

In other countries similar Australia and New Zealand, family disputes stemming from unpaid loans even reach the courts. That'southward rare in the Philippines.

Table of Contents

  • What Makes Lending Coin so Awkward?
  • How to Say No When Someone Asks to Borrow Money
    • 1. Keep Your Financial Condition Individual
    • 2. Consider Your Relationship with the Borrower
    • 3. Don't Be Pressured Into Proverb Yep
    • four. Only Tell Them You Don't Loan Money
    • 5. Practice Saying No
    • 6. Listen and Empathize
    • seven. Give Yourself Time to Think of an Appropriate Response
    • 8. Be Clear Almost Your Priorities
    • nine. Explain Your Financial Situation Honestly and Calmly
    • 10. Offer to Help in a Dissimilar Mode
    • 11. Stand Your Ground
  • Terminal Thoughts

What Makes Lending Money so Bad-mannered?

When money gets into a relationship, things are bound to get weird and awkward. Money is considered a sensitive and intimate subject for a lot of people. That's why people don't ordinarily go into specifics nearly their financial situations, how much money they have saved, and how much money they owe.

So once you lend coin to a friend or a family fellow member, your relationship with that person also changes, whether y'all similar it or not. They may feel indebted to yous in more ways than one. Knowing that, it can as well requite y'all a sense of power over them. In short, you're at present a kind of loan officeholder as well, aside from their all-time friend, cousin, niece, or nephew.

And because it's a friend or relative you're loaning the money to, there's really no guarantee that they'll pay yous back for information technology. No matter how well yous call up you know someone, there may still be surprises or secrets when information technology comes to how they handle their coin.

How to Say No When Someone Asks to Infringe Coin

It can be tough to say no to lending money, especially if it's someone who'south really in need of it. But at that place are guilt-free ways to exercise it. Here are some suggestions to consider.

1. Keep Your Financial Status Private

how to say no when someone asks to borrow money - keep your financial status private

Most of the time, friends and family members come to you for money because they know you lot can beget to lend it to them. How? They see your online purchases, your nutrient cravings from dissimilar restaurants, and your quick weekend getaways at beautiful boutique hotels on your social media accounts all the fourth dimension. Since you look so financially comfortable, surely you can spare a few thousand pesos for someone in need, as well?

If you don't want to be in these people's radar whenever they're facing cash emergencies, avoid sharing too much near your finances and your lifestyle. No one needs to know how much coin you lot make, where you invest information technology, and what you spend it on. Keep your finances individual then that friends and family won't be under the impression that getting a loan from y'all is already a given.

2. Consider Your Human relationship with the Borrower

how to say no when someone asks to borrow money - consider your relationship

When you lot receive a phone call or a message from someone borrowing coin, one of the starting time things you should consider is your relationship to that person. Your response volition depend on how close you lot are to this person and how long you've known each other.

If it's someone you lot barely spoke to at your previous job, or but an online acquaintance, information technology'due south very easy to say no and be direct about it.

But if information technology's a sibling, a cousin, or an aunt that you're really close to, that's a unlike affair. Yous demand to consider your words so as not to injure their feelings and put a strain on your relationship likewise.

three. Don't Be Pressured Into Saying Yes

how to say no when someone asks to borrow money - don't be pressured into saying yes

Before you can actually say no to any loan money request, it's of import to first sort out your feelings well-nigh information technology.

While it'southward considered selfish and a little as well harsh to pass up to assist loved ones financially, you're in no way obligated to give in to whatsoever request that's against your will. Information technology's your hard-earned money we're talking most—whether y'all tin can afford to lend money or not, it's your call how you employ it.

The pressure oftentimes comes from the need to repay one's utang na loob, fear of confrontation and being badmouthed, or the Filipino'south innate generosity. Sometimes, the people who try to borrow money are the ones pushing you lot to brand a quick—and favorable—decision by creating a sense of urgency.

Expect that in most cases, coin borrowed by family and friends are likely to be never paid back—no matter how much they clinch you that they'll return the cash. If you lot're on a tight upkeep, lending money is simply not an option.

four. Just Tell Them You Don't Loan Money

Personal finance expert Fitz Villafuerte gives a sensible slice of advice: Tell them point-blank that every bit a personal dominion, you don't lend coin to friends[2] (or relatives, whichever is applicable). Such argument is direct yet doesn't laissez passer judgment to the person.

Delaying your response or being wishy-washy well-nigh information technology won't assistance. Neither does getting them seenzoned on Facebook and hoping they'd get the hint.

Read more: 9 Salary Loans to Consider for Financial Emergencies

5. Practice Maxim No

how to say no when someone asks to borrow money - practice saying no

From a psychological perspective, yous tin train your mind to make proverb no a habit when someone asks you a favor, especially if you're naturally a people pleaser who always say yeah.

Research shows that planning and rehearsing your response earlier you receive a asking allows you to respond in a style that's consistent with what you originally intended, like saying no to a friend who keeps asking for money.

Come up with a default non-committal response (e.g., "Sorry, I can't loan money to yous this time." or "Pasensya na, medyo tight talaga ang upkeep.") and practice proverb information technology before you're confronted with a request to borrow cash.

half-dozen. Listen and Sympathize

It'southward a unlike affair when someone shut to you comes up and asks for your assistance. Requite your family unit fellow member or friend the benefit of the dubiety—they may exist really in a serious financial trouble.

Heed attentively, exist genuinely concerned, and testify that you lot're trying your best to understand the situation—without promising or committing to anything.

This way, y'all make the person feel you lot aren't disregarding his or her feelings. Likewise, having a clear picture of the circumstances that have led to the need to borrow volition enable y'all to help without having to loan money to your family or friend.

Read more: Emergency Loans and Other User-friendly Ways to Borrow Coin

7. Give Yourself Time to Think of an Appropriate Response

how to say no when someone asks to borrow money - give yourself time to think of an appropriate response

Depending on the relationship you accept with the person, an outright "no" may cause tension betwixt y'all and your family unit or friend.

After listening to the person, tell them that you'll demand some time to check your budget and assess your finances. Requite it effectually i to iii days—this is plenty time for yous to think of a adept response and for the person to figure out other ways to obtain money.

8. Be Clear Nearly Your Priorities

It's much easier to say no if you know your financial priorities—like saving up for your child's educational activity or a domicile or machine purchase—than if you lot aren't certain nearly the things that thing to yous.

Keep your own finances your priority—and be firm about it. After all, y'all tin can't aid others financially if you tin't even sort out your own finances.

9. Explain Your Fiscal Situation Honestly and Calmly

When you explain your determination, be honest and assertive nearly your reasons for turning downwards the loan money asking. Just exist calm as well—avoid speaking in an aroused tone, no matter how exasperated you are with the person or situation.

Let your friend understand your financial situation and goals, and how lending money may not fit into the picture. Yous can say, "I'd really beloved to assistance y'all, simply I'm on a tight budget right now, only similar you. Distressing, I can't afford to lend you money correct at present."

Such a response doesn't give much detail only clearly states your bespeak without hurting someone's feelings. If that person is really shut to y'all, they will understand and volition not concord grudge against yous.

No need to overexplain. Sharing more than details than necessary might make the person experience that you lot recollect he or she can't handle a refusal.

ten. Offer to Help in a Dissimilar Way

Can't afford to back up your loved one financially but yous really want to aid? You lot can do so without shelling out cash. Sincerely offer non-monetary assistance. This is a corking mode to soften the bear on of rejection and aid the person become less reliant on financial help from family and friends.

Here are some ways to support family or friends who endeavor to borrow money:

  • Help them find a raket or side business. Or share any opportunity or idea you know that lets them earn extra income
  • Tell them to get a low-involvement personal loan that allows them to borrow money at a depression cost. If you have extra time, y'all can assist them in preparing the document requirements or inquiry anything they need to know to qualify and get canonical for a loan.
  • Accompany them in finding and applying for scholarships, grants, and other forms of financial assistance from different entities for their specific financial need.
  • If they're ever short of cash and can't seem to go their finances in social club, offer to help review and runway their budget.

Read more: Need Cash? Cheque These Options for Easy Loan Awarding in the Philippines

11. Stand Your Basis

how to say no when someone asks to borrow money - stand your ground

What if your family and friends keep pestering yous? No matter what, be house with your decision. Reiterate what you've said to let them know that yous've fabricated upwardly your heed and there's no irresolute it. They'll understand and respect your decision.

If they react negatively, don't hesitate to let them know how they're making you feel. Tell them that you value your friendship or relationship. However, their actions are making you feel uncomfortable, stressed, or unhappy fifty-fifty if you've made it clear that you won't exist able to loan money. People who truly honey you care about your feelings and wouldn't want to hurt you.

If they yet won't back downwards, just let things be, focus on the skillful, and motion on. The situation may accept cost your human relationship. But at least you aren't stressing over collecting a debt or running short of upkeep.

Final Thoughts

When declining to loan money to friends or family members, never experience guilty about it. Yous take your ain needs and priorities to take care of. Tin can you lot bear touching your child'south tuition fund or your family's nutrient upkeep, for instance, but because yous tin can't say no to a friend?

Refusing to loan money isn't being selfish. Yous aren't helping people past lending them coin. It merely teaches them to be more financially dependent on others instead of helping themselves.

Apply for a personal loan at Moneymax!

Sources:

  • [1] 2019 Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas Financial Inclusion Survey
  • [2] Handling Friends Who Infringe Money